Grace Knows – Children at our wedding

Ahhh, one of the ultimate quandries for a couple, “do we or don’t we have children at our wedding? Ultimately I cannot tell you what you should do. Everyone has their own opinions on children at weddings, it is a huge debate that has been going on for an eternity, and it will continue to further complicated by Covid and the pandemic aftermath!

I have a few questions for you in return, which could help you make your decision…


  • Who are the children? Are they potential flower girls and page boys? Are they your nieces or nephews?
  • Will the parents want their children there? (I love my little one, but know that I personally would love a fun, boozy, child-free day)
  • Is the venue child friendly?
  • Will your friends and family not enjoy the day with or without them?
  • Do you have the space and budget?
  • Where are the parents coming from? Will they have to leave children for the weekend, travelling quite a distance without potentially reliable childcare? If they have childcare options, are they also invited to the wedding…. (if my sister was to get married without children there, I would seriously struggle with who to look after my daughter!)
  • Do you want to have children running around? Answer this one honestly to yourselves. They can be super cute, make for great entertainment and awesome photos but is that what you want.


At the end of the day, it is your wedding day and you deserve to spend it with whomever you want.

“Phoebe is torn between what she and her partner Laura wants, and pleasing her extended family. We think our answers will help, but above everything we would like to say create your wedding for you and your partner, not for someone else.”

Children at our wedding, we don't know what to do. Can you help us? Grace Knows - support for couples marrying in Hampshire, Surrey, London and Berkshire

All images by Cooper Photography, taken at Horsebridge Station

But, if you do choose to have children at your wedding here are a few things to think about:

  • Child friendly food
  • Serve the children first – trust me!
  • Offer snacks during the drinks reception
  • Have games for the children to enjoy during the meal and drinks reception
  • Give them a disposable camera to take their own pictures
  • Consider entertainment for the speeches
  • Consider group childcare for the evening
  • Ask one of the parents to leave the ceremony if they get restless and noisy (in advance not on the day!!)

If you choose not to have children, just understand that some guests may not be able to leave their children, for many reasons including breastfeeding and no suitable childcare. Here are a few things you can say to ease into the subject:

“Think about what a great night away you two could have, you deserve some time just the two of you”

“I am really struggling with my guest list, the venue won’t accommodate everyone… I may have to just have my closest adult friends… it’s so hard isn’t it?”

“The venue is not really suitable for young children and I worry that you really won’t enjoy yourself as you will just be chasing after them…

“What ever your choice, make sure it is one you two choose together and do not feel pressured either way.

As a mother, personally I would be delighted if my little one was invited to be a part of someones day, but I would seriously consider if I wanted to take her with me. Potentially I would arrange child care for just the evening if she was asked to be a flower girl. Equally, if I was invited to a child-free wedding I would be booking a room, clearing my mums diary to look after her and picking out the best dancing outfit.

Let me know what you choose and if you need any advice to keep little ones entertained, or advice on a difficult conversation. We are here to help, and most certainly understand the difficult predicament and situation this can be. Make the right choice for you as a couple about whether to extend the invitations.

You might also like

Authentic wedding planning must haves…⁠

Especially when you may hear things like 'turning ordinary to magical' 'out of the ordinary' or 'creating a new reality for your wedding'. I would love you to know there is nothing ordinary or normal about a wedding day - and we really hope you feel that your day is...

Grace Knows – Children at our wedding

Ahhh, one of the ultimate quandries for a couple, "do we or don't we have children at our wedding? Ultimately I cannot tell you what you should do. Everyone has their own opinions on children at weddings, it is a huge debate that has been going on for an eternity, and...

I am a second time around bride, and I need help

"Many people still behave a little strangely around the subject of second weddings, and being a second time around bride. So can I just set things straight, there really really is no need need to feel akward or apologetic. You fell in love - be deliriously excited!...

Rebecca Frost – Bridal boudoir photography meet Bea

Let’s talk about Bea. Bea is one of my clients and she’s a dream to work with. She loves Hampshire, either it’s her childhood home or it’s somewhere that she has a strong romantic attachment to. When Bea got engaged, she knew she had to come to Hampshire to celebrate...

Grace Knows – Instagram inspiration for couples

" Can you please give me ten good Instagram accounts to follow about Hampshire weddings, and maybe some hashtags. Someone told me that was a good idea, but I have no idea where to start! thanks "Well, are you following me yet?!!!! Lyla Rose weddings and events  - I...

Wedding diaries – Can I furlough our wedding?

The Wedding Diaries by Stephanie Powell, Can I furlough our wedding?Hi everyone. But in particular… hi brides-to-be. I want you to know what I see you. I know what you’re going through. And… it kinda of sucks doesn’t it? After hearing that social distancing is likely...

Copyright for wedding creatives – expert advice

Copyright for wedding creatives by Katie Mortimore PhotographyAs a wedding supplier, quality imagery is vital for the success of your business, but it can be expensive to source and sometimes difficult to know what rules apply as to how you can use it. DO I HAVE...

Wedding diaries – Wedding dress shopping by myself

The Wedding Diaries by Stephanie Powell, why I went wedding dress shopping by myself...Hi again! And welcome back to The Wedding Diaries!  It will come as no surprise that I’m dishing up some realness again. This time, we’re talking about wedding dress shopping. Now,...

Wedding diaries – Starting at the beginning

Let’s start at the beginning (“It’s a wonderful place to start”… sorry)I’ll start by saying this. Despite having worked in the wedding industry and having been a bridesmaid 4 times – I was frightfully naïve when it came to planning my own wedding. I’m very fortunate...

Four Seasons Hotel Hampshire, Piet Oudolf

Mirroring, yet also enhancing the existing statement rich colours, textures and fabrics, and the modern, luxurious and contemporary feel. The private dining room Fox Hollow in the Wild Carrot, played host to this beautifully curated Hampshire Wedding Club editorial....

from us to you

wedded wisdom 101
I know you have big plans for the future. I know you want to… meet wedding suppliers to collaborate with… increase your revenue… stop the procrastination… take control of the overwhelm… get focused… go from unknown to in demand. But you are struggling to figure out how to put it ALL together and be COURAGEOUS. The networking 101 Workbook will support you getting out and about with your business, and taking all these steps one at a time!
Sign up to download


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.